Friday, August 3, 2012

ICANN: If ... Concerned ... Could Well ... Consider

by Thomas O'Toole

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Over at TheHill.com, Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers CEO Rod Beckstrom reportedly said:

If we were concerned with any parties' actions, one could hypothetically imagine that well could be taken into consideration [of whether to approve their applications].

The statement is a textbook example of tergiversation, a cornucopia of weasel words.

If we were concerned. This phrase artfully embeds a purely subjective judgment ("concern") inside a gooey subjunctive mood ("we were") and wraps it all with the conditional "if." It all adds up to nothing. If the captain of the Titanic were concerned about icebergs in the north Atlantic, he would have charted a new route to the south. He wasn't and he didn't.

One could hypothetically imagine. "Hypothetically imagine" is redundant, of course, but it also has an "anyone can win the lottery" connotation to it. The statement hardly inspires confidence in the only entity that can ensure the integrity of ICANN's new top-level domain initiative. If the police officer finds a smoking gun in your hand, one could hypothetically imagine he will arrest you. But maybe not, if you live in ICANN-Land.

That could well be taken. The world is full of possibilities, isn't it? Unfortunately, only one if them is the possibility that ICANN will deal firmly with parties that might have gained an unfair advantage in the new top-level domains game.

Into consideration. Same as above, a classic empty statement, aka "we'll think about it." Company management always takes requests for raises "into consideration" before they deny them.

If I were running an organization that is frequently the target of complaints of self-dealing and indifference to the public welfare, I might hypothetically imagine considering the need to make a declaration -- even an empty declaration, since Beckstrom is leaving his post next month -- in support of openness and integrity. I might say:

ICANN will make an exhaustive investigation of the problems experienced with its new top-level domain application system to be conducted by a third party. ICANN will deny, for the first round, the application of any party that is found to have accessed any portion of another applicant's submission, or found to have gained access to any information that creates even the appearance of impropriety in the new top-level domain initiative. ICANN will publish the results of its investigation for public review prior approving any new top-level domain applications. ICANN will cooperate fully with any federal or state investigation into this incident.

Something like that.

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